On November 5th 2017 I realized something important, and I feel like I have to admit the truth about myself.
I’M A LOSER
Maybe I’m being harsh but I have to be honest with myself, I’m in the process of becoming a winner and I’m here to help you do the same.
I still live at home with my mother and live off a government disability check because I have bipolar disorder.
I have also never had a girlfriend before and I have one date to my name in 23 years. It was a cup of coffee with a random girl I had no interest for.
I have no money to my name, all I have is $140 worth of bitcoin that’s locked up as an investment.
I’m doing well socially however, I have 2 really good friends and about 10 good friends.
But I want more quality in my friendships, I feel like I should be offering more as a friend.
Currently I can tell my friends have little to no respect for me because I’m a loser.
I’m the guy that everyone likes but nobody respects.
And I’m tired of being that guy.
I’ve never had a girlfriend before because I have no confidence with women.
I have no confidence with women because I feel like they would find me awkward and wouldn’t be impressed with the real me.
I feel inadequate to be honest.
The real reason I want to make money, go to the gym so I can get in shape, and find a great relationship is because I want to compensate for my feelings of inferiority.
I think it’s fair to say that inferiority is one the strongest motivators there is.
I want to become a superior human being because that will bring me a sense of relief from the embarrassment of being a loser.
“Winning is life’s best medicine, whining is one of life’s worst poisons.” – Angus Baynham-McColl
As of this moment forward I’m committed to becoming a winner!
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m still losing a lot these days and I will lose some of life’s battles along with battles with myself from time to time.
But the lacklustre effort on my part is going to stop.
Because I’m sick and tired of losing and embarrassing myself in life.
I want to be looked up to, not looked down upon.
Yes, I really do give a shit with how I’m viewed but more importantly how I view myself.
I haven’t put up much of a fight in my life, I’ve always been one to back down when life asked me to fight hard for something.
I’ve given up on the gym.
I’ve quit 5 jobs in the last 3 years.
I feel like I don’t have much to offer as a friend.
And if today was my last day on earth, I wouldn’t be remembered for much.
Now what I’m I going to do about it?
IM GOING TO BUST MY ASS.
I need to find pride in myself.
Also, I must develop a work ethic.
This is why I’m gong to the gym again.
I don’t know how I’m going to turn my life around, but I do know that the gym is the first step.
I take my body everywhere I go, so I want to be in the best possible shape.
Plus the gym is a tangible way to develop self discipline.
I want to feel proud of myself again, and I want to have some respect for myself back along with some much needed confidence.
That positive snowball effect needs to start somewhere, and it needs to start today.
So this post was a very honest look at where I’m at, I hope you enjoyed reading.
There will be more inspiring posts in the future as I become a more inspiring person.
But first things first,
I will lift some iron this week on weekdays because the iron never lies – the iron will tell me where I’m at in life.
I’ve got a long way to go,
And I have one goal in mind before I go to bed tonight.
Just win the day tomorrow.
One day at a time,
Just be patient and success will come, but don’t give up!
Until next time,