Thoughts On My Self-Confidence

In my last post called “I’m A Loser” I talked about how I lacked confidence in myself and how I have a sense that I’m inferior to a lot of other people.

In this post I’m going to tell you how I plan to get my confidence going so I can feel superior.

It begins with embracing my true nature and aiming to discover who I am and who I’m not.

For instance in Ball Hockey if I called myself a goalscorer I wouldn’t be that confident because I don’t score a lot of goals.

If I embraced my role as a grinder and accepted it, I would be a lot more confident.

That doesn’t mean I won’t do my best to score, but I’m smart enough to know not to measure myself in goals and assists.

Some people are born to be bodybuilders, some are born to be hockey players, some to be businessmen, and some are born to take a spiritual path in life.

The point is we are all different people.

That’s why it’s important to find out what you are born to do and do it.

That is the only way you can be confident.

I’m not born to be a vegan yoga veteran who meditates for 6 hours a day.

If I tried to be that of course I would have no confidence.

I’m also not born to be a great employee for a corporation.

Nor am I born to be a great skater, or a good goalie.

If I did any of those things, I wouldn’t be confident. I played goalie once in hockey and I just knew I wasn’t born to play the position.

I was also very uncomfortable playing defence in 2016 with the Aces ball hockey team.

I was never confident on D because I knew that D just wasn’t for me. It wasn’t what God put me on earth to do.

But I know some of what I am born to do.

I’m born to go to the gym and lift weights so I can be stronger when I play ball hockey. I’m not born to do cardio for hours though, so the body I want to build is one of strength.

Speed and endurance are secondary because I know I have a lot of testosterone and can build muscle quickly when I want to. I have the genes to become a very strong guy.

All I need to do to get what God gave me is go to the gym and do the work.

Day after day!

Then I will be able to reach my full potential as a ball hockey player.

Ball hockey as a forward is what I was born to do, so therefore that’s what I need to develop and work on both in practice and in games.

So today I’m going to do a lot of upper body weight lifting in my workout so I can improve the strength I have on my sick when I play hockey.

Also I will develop my shooting for hockey by doing wrist curls and forearm exercises.

I believe that if I use the genetic potential God gave me I can become one of the fittest guys in the league.




That is how I prioritize the 3 aspects of my fitness plan.

Here’s what I will do TODAY

• 4 Sets of 30LBS 8-12 reps bicep curls.

• 30 Push-ups X5

• Chin-ups till failure

• Captains Chair Abs Crunches 25reps X5

• Bench Press 105LBS X8 4 Sets with extra benching if necessary

• Forearm Curls with 50 pound dumbbells, 4 sets till failure

• Cardio for 20 minutes on the treadmill at medium to fast speed.

• And whatever else extra I feel needs a workout

Eventually my results will show up like they have before when I used to go to the gym in 2015.

The gym is how I plan to start getting confidence.

Working out will lead to better ball hockey and more confidence in my game long term.

I will feel better about myself and as I always say, “feel good and good things happen.”

Then eventually when I have more confidence and feel better about myself, my habits and my life in general, I can focus on making money and improving my relationships.

But I am starting from ground zero.

And it won’t be easy.

Here are my steps:

1. Gym

2. Make Money

3. Blog & Repeat

And now I want to discuss how I plan on making more money.

In late November I plan on working at Value Village.

I don’t have the money and confidence yet to be a great entrepreneur.

So I will learn more about business while I work at value village and my other job at Canadian Mental Health Association.

I will make more money starting in December 2017,


$600 from Value Village

$200 From CMHA

$850 from Disability

Total $1,650

My rent, phone and food is about $800 and my debts are $300 a month for a few more years.

This leaves me $550 a month to invest in myself.

I will probably spend $200 a month on bullshit, so let’s say I will invest $300 for my future.

At the end of 2018 I should have $3,000 to start my own business or invest.

But in 2018 I just want to be an employee and make money so I can invest in my own company later.

I think I’m going to create an online business based on fitness, making money, and being a real man.

But first I have to actually accomplish those goals.

It starts with fitness and becoming an expert in fitness.

Then the next step is becoming an expert in money and investing.

Then I will be qualified to make money teaching fitness because I will have actual credibility in the field of fitness.

After that I can be taken more seriously in my self-improvement blog related to fitness, manhood, and money.

Until next time,

Angus Baynham-McColl

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