The Most Hopeless Situation I’ve Encountered as a Man
In 2010 when I was 16 years old, I met a very attractive woman in my apartment building that was also the exact same age as I was. She went to a different high school but we lived in the same building.
For me, it was a love at first sight situation, this woman was very beautiful and I quickly put her on a pedestal and made her out to be the best woman in the whole world. My thought was that she was my ideal relationship partner, and I saw her at the building one day. I asked her what her name was. Then I added her on Facebook so I could get to know more about her and who she was.
My biggest issue at this point in time was that I lacked the vicinity to get to know her.
So I set out to create vicinity through chance encounters, and I wanted to run into her when she came home from school in the desperate hope that one day she would talk to me. On Facebook we talked a bit, but she never messaged me first, and I was always the one messaging her. I didn’t know how to relate to women at the time so I just messaged her random stuff and we never really connected. Eventually she cut me off as a friend when I was a jerk to her, and called her a bitch because she didn’t respond to one of my messages as quickly as I wanted.
Long story short, I was a very needy and desperate guy.
After she cut me off I began to stalk her regularly in hopes of restoring communication.
She and her family moved away from my apartment building a few months later. I eventually found out where she lived and on my own way to school, I got on her bus route to school. This terrified her, and she called the police and they gave me a warning that I would be charged with harassment if I tried to contact her again.
The police officer told me to get some help as well.
I stopped for a year, but this woman was still on my mind.
This was a love that I could not win, but also one I could not let go of.
This is exactly why my situation is hopeless.
I can’t get rid of the love I have for this woman.
Also, I can’t get rid of her negative feelings and opinions of me.
Eventually I went back to stalking her in 2012-2013, and was arrested for criminal harassment. One charge was for leaving gifts in 2012, and the other charge was for showing up at her place in 2013.
For the last 4 years I have been unable to talk to this woman, and I know that any efforts to talk to her would be in vain because she would call the police.
So I stopped communications with her and now I’m fucked because if I talk to her….I get arrested and gain nothing. There is no way I could ever make her like me. The other problem is if I do nothing, she will never come forward and talk to me.
Remember the 2 problems I am facing:
- I can’t let go, no matter how hard I try.
- I can’t make her love me, no matter what I do.
- I could never love another woman as much as I loved her, even if I wanted to.
1 + 2 + 3 = I’M FUCKED FOR LIFE
How the fuck do I find hope in that situation?
I would appreciate any help I could get,